Why I Chose a Single Sista Over a Married Couple to Adopt by Baby
I found out that I was pregnant during the summer time. I was having a cool time hanging out with a lot of new people, and the baby daddy was someone that I had just met. He was cute and smart…a college guy that was home on break. That was cool with me because I was also home just for the summer and had plans to start college in the fall. He and I got together, and the next thing that I knew, I was taking a pregnancy test.
There was so many things that ran through my head when I found out that I was pregnant. To be honest, there were so many thoughts that I actually could not focus. It was terrible. I told the baby daddy and he told me that he didn’t want any children at this point in his life. I didn’t want any either, but here I was knocked-up and having to make all types of new decisions.
I decided that abortion was not gonna happen. I had known people that had gone through that process and let’s just say, they hated it and they hated themselves afterward for doing it. But, I really was considering adoption, that way someone else that maybe couldn’t have a baby on their own could be happy and I would be free to move on with my life also.
So, I made some calls, did a little research online, and finally was ready to learn about adoption. It was not a very “comfortable” time in my life, not only because of the situation being what it was, but I was experiencing horrible bouts of morning sickness. I placed a call to African American Adoption Online: 1-800-923-6784. It was one of the toughest calls I’ve ever made, but I made it through and I felt that my mind was a little less fuzzy afterward.
The adoption counselor and I spoke pretty in-depth about what I wanted for this baby. I told her that whoever adopted my child needed to be strong, African-American like me, and respected. I wasn’t ready to be a mom, but I know what a good mom and parent should be.
As time went on, my adoption counselor and I had narrowed it down to two families. I would have to decide between this really great couple and a single African-American woman that wanted to be a mom. The adoption counselor was kind of shocked when I told her that I picked the single woman. But, in my heart, I know that it was the right decision for this child. Here’s why…
I grew up without a father and I don’t trust a lot of men. I haven’t had too many good men in my own life, so, I have learned from my own mom that a woman can make it and have a successful family without a man. It was nice that the married couple was really into wanting to be the parents for my baby, but I just felt that I connected more with Keitha, the single woman.
Keitha was college educated, she has been working most of her life, she has always wanted to share her life with a child but couldn’t have her own, and she was very strong. She talked about how she had to “fight” her way to success and that she wanted to instill that in the child that she would adopt. She told me how she was active in her community, how everyone around the ‘hood knew her and had watched her grow and make something positive out of herself. Keitha was who I wanted to become in 5 or 10 years! She is a solid role model for me and she just seemed like she would be a perfect mom, guardian, and parent for this child.
The married couple seemed to be well off and they were very nice. They had a lot of good qualities, but it seemed like Keitha would put that extra little something into helping this child to be all that he or she could be. This single sista just had it going on and I couldn’t see this child with anyone else!
So, that’s why I chose her to raise my baby. I’m glad that she was there and I’m glad that I had a chance to select her. I have always been told that a woman does not need a man to “complete” her, and that she should not let him define who she is or can be. This child’s new mother is her own woman, highly respected, very intelligent, and just a real phenomenal woman. This child will be truly blessed to have Keitha in his or her life, and I will be too!